Tuesday, August 21, 2007

So what happened?

It's now almost nine months since I last published an entry and it's all change in hh's world.
From the date of my last post, I put my head down and tried to complete as soon as possible. Combined with teaching and trips to see C, this meant that I couldn't really entertain the 'distraction' of documenting 'worked some more on trying to put this piece on Sibelius' every week.

I completed the PhD in June and submitted, I have a viva date in September, and I'm applying for jobs.
On the bad side, C split up with me last month (it's a 6 month trial separation - we'll reevaluate in January) and it's been a tricky few weeks coming to some sort of terms with that. I'm feeling a lot better about the whole thing now but I still feel out of touch with composition.
On the job front, because I haven't got lots of performances lined up (I was more concerned with finishing my PhD), this means that all I have on my CV is potential. Anywhere that's going to appoint me is going to have to believe in me first. And that's quite a lot to ask. Beginning to get myself in gear to send off scores to ensembles now but it's a bit late if I want a job to start soon!

This all sounds a bit pessimistic, but I think that it's realistic. I have more positive energy on the go right now than I have for a while. I have off-days when I'm miserable, but those are becoming fewer and fewer (and after all, who doesn't have an off-day every now and then?).
The house is on the market, and I'm preparing for life after Durham (and even looking forward to it) and I'm starting to sort out some of the piles of papers/magazines/scores that have accumulated. The future starts soon and it's incredibly exciting/scaring me to death.


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